~8 HAppy? Or sad? MY bRo? GONE ....*~

When my bro will dissapeared. I wonder that will I be sad or happy? or maybe I felt nothing? empty? My bro. who grows up with me for such many years,gone. I think i dunno how to react. HE smiles like a prince. FAithful as a friend. Loyal to teachers. kind to parents but yet selfish. LOves towards me, his sister. maybe I will doubt that! I will doubt that he's the same as usual. I think he changed. to different person. on the different world with me. on the different conversation. n different communication. I think I will be happy n relax. if he were to go bac. I think I will be feeling good. that he will go bac forever.Here, is not the place for him. no for him. not for his additude. I dun like him. when he comes bac n lazy around. I dun like him. When he comes bac n giv me lectures. HE doesnt have the right to say me. I am who I am. that can't ever changed. IF I changed. that won't be me anymore. there won't be GEselle. There won't be happiness n laughters. Why don't u know that? why u so care- Less? Y u try to tell me what I thinks n what I know? My thoughts is sumthin u cant tell. I will changed. Cause I am a HUMAN . Humans is complicated. U dun know. U will never know. U will never guess right. I wont tell u . How I feel. Cause I wont. U had no rights to know. BEcause u dun know me. U never will. U dun know even the slightest part of me. ME, who is suffering in the darkness. When I need u, u play with my seriousness. When I need u, U can do nothing. Nothing . not help. not encouragement. But I forgiv. cause u r my bro. u r the part of my life. U had a deep close brother-sister relationship with me. I dun wan to lose that. The string thats been helping us to be together. But u cut it. Cut it mercilessly. Cut it without  second thought. I can accept that. That u, my brother made me, the sister cried so much , so hurt , so pain! MY eyes swallowed. My eyes blank! because of u. who cut our special string. U care nothing. Not even me. the sister. I am hurt. just as u say. I dunno when. My scar will heal or cure. I dunno when I have the courage to face u again. Even u can't faced me. Like u always do. Even u can never think of how others feel. So desperately. I am so desperately. wan to get away from. YOU, MY brother... +((


FOREVER....away....